Saturday, October 01, 2005

bear with me

aka: over reading/over-long sentences/ weird phrasing

Happy Children's Day.

Almost everyday - increasingly everyday especially now that i'm about to commence the life of less excuses and the practical in about a year's time - i'm reminded in a variety of ways how in all likelihood i'm going to have to pay for being a mediocre student in my chosen area of interest.

"less excuses"? if anything adults are the ones who come up with more excuses for their existence. Red Peter says that men (adults)* are betrayed by the word "freedom". i have yet to realised exactly what it (the sublimity he spoke of) is that he meant, but for now i take it that "freedom" betrays us because we are hedged in by choices which are limited and which we know of only and in a capitalist realistic society, one is bound to lose more than the other when chooses to take the middle of the road.

"clothes traffic" is part of the conspiracy surrounding the word "freedom''. almost like the suffocating choices, they restrict our movements - in all senses the word "movement" can be used. despite Red Peter, i take it to also mean that literally, unlike apes, clothes restrict our movements and decisions, freedom of thought, thoughts preoccupied by the almost laughable mundaneity (think the tight corsets to the fashion slaves)**. clothes are also choices A and B, C does not exist except for its purpose of being a non-choice: we've only ever known A and B, because they are the only ones presented to us.

almost everyday, i'm made to scoff at my chosen path which is dangerously littered with strewn roses and in defence, i scoff the concrete road. a vicious cycle, because with each contemptuous glance cast towards the other side, my glasses get increasingly tinted. i risk going blind.

a close friend studying law started a conversation one day about selling out, what it means and if meanings change with the individual. then with ever so slight a hint of shrill panic in her voice, she went, "then haven't i been selling out?" if we were to take our puristic definition from that day, then yeah she's sold out and i have not.

(something's still not there.)

in Quidam, the two most pathetic acts dressed their performers in skin-coloured tights. a Kafka-esque statement is made. or being subverted. sheesh. Vis Versa is a 2-persons act, and Cirque du Soleil's website says only of the "perfect harmony... natural beauty of the human body." i see struggles. how impossible to balance the woman by her shoulders on your shoulders. how impossible to support the man completely lifted off the ground! their 'lack' of clothes shows us the pulled and tensed muscles which otherwise would be hidden/distracted by coloured clothes. clothes was hindrance to Kafka, here the lack of exposes the metaphorical tensions. in Aerial Contortion in silk, the blood red fabrics/cloths artistically wrapped and tangled with the performer's body. wrapped and tangled and entwined and trapped.

*inevitable: adults make the world and social decisions. and they are the ones with the "hang-ups."
**Red Peter: "I do not mean the spacious feeling of freedom on all sides" nor "self-controlled movement."
in case i'm not clear, since i tend to be... not clear, somewhere in all those lines i meant that clothes are also symbols of the civilised world, with all the... hang-ups. - it's good. the show i mean. it's beautiful circus. on til 15th Oct, NUS students get 20% (i think) discount at the box office. ##^%$%$#@! they couldn't have done this any later.


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